Divorce Yourself
You are tired of your career…Divorce Yourself from it!
You have a toxic friend…Divorce Yourself from them!
You want to lose weight…Divorce Yourself from your old habits!
When I decided my marriage was over and it was time to get a divorce, it felt like both a relief and a crushing weight at the same time. I told myself a lot of lies. “I had given up on my family.” “I wasn’t going to have the same relationship with my kids.” “I had failed.” I was in a really dark and difficult place.
Then surprisingly, as the days passed by, divorce became not an end, but a beginning. I was free to really explore who I was and what I wanted. I got back into the things I used to enjoy. I began hiking, riding my bike and reading everything I could get my hands on.
I rediscovered who I was and learned to love myself. I met the love of my life and got remarried. I lost 25 pounds and became an athlete again. I became an even better father. I showed my kids what being good to yourself looks like. I showed them what a good relationship looks like. I showed them that they too could face a fear and come out in better shape. All of this came out of the dirty “D” word.
Last year I found myself coaching someone who was in a similar situation, but for them it was their career. They had just been let go from their job and they were devastated. As we talked about the job, they told me their work had been a viscous cycle where they were surrounded by toxic people who would push them to the brink and then let them recover just enough before they did it all again.
They needed a divorce from this business and were lucky enough to be handed one. Instead of looking for a job in the same field, this was an opportunity to find a new path, which is exactly what they did. Rather than go back to the same type of environment which they were certainly qualified to do, they decided to get a divorce from their industry.
Even when something isn’t working, we often decide that familiarity is better than facing change. We will continue to live a life of unhappiness rather than trying something new. Divorcing yourself from things that no longer suit you is simply saying, “this isn’t working anymore and I am willing to face the fear of trying something new.” Divorce is not an end, it is a beginning.
If it is fear that is getting in the way of your big break-up, it is time to celebrate. Fear is an indicator that you are on the right path. I will leave you with a quote from Joseph Campbell that I love.
“THE CAVE YOU FEAR TO ENTER HOLDS THE TREASURE YOU SEEK.”
